My name is Kymm.  I watch stuff.

The Voice S13/E22

Live Top 10 Performances

Miley is wearing a giant taco made of yellow tulle.

My Davon, Team Jennifer, “Hurt,” the Christina Aguilera version, not the NIN/Johnny Cash version. She and Davon talk about being brought up in the church, and they sing churchily at each other. He is wearing an excellent statement blazer. Jennifer threw her shoe down the pit again, hopefully not braining a musician. Jennifer has made The Voice a dangerous place to work.

Adam, Team Adam, “Maybe it Was Memphis.” They talk about how last week they all thought that Janice would go through and they all about fell over when Adam won, and this week he’s going back to pure country. Please love me, says Contestant Adam! Ain’t nothing wrong with the country artists country-ing it up. Coach Adam says that Contestant Adam keeps saving himself with the songs that he chooses himself and ending up in the bottom two with songs that Coach Adam picks, so clearly his choices suck and Contestant Adam gets to choose for himself from now on!

My Noah, Team Jennifer, “Ordinary World.” This time he is stripping all of the production away and only singing, and he’s singing in a much higher register than he normally does. Jennifer suggests a little bit of production at the climax of the song in order to bring it home. He is going to focus on making it really emotional. It’s not as though he normally keeps his emotions under his hat, so I hope he won’t go too far. This is not my favourite performance that Noah has ever done, but I hope it speaks to the teeny boppers and they will vote. Not that I’m not voting, of course, he could sing “Dominick the Italian Christmas Donkey,” complete with heehaws, and finish up by vomiting, and I’d still vote for him. Miley loved it. She is also being eaten alive by her taco dress.

Shi’an, Team Jennifer, “Diamonds.” I’m not crazy about her because she oversings, but this is a perfectly splendid song for her, and she is singing it really simply. On the other hand, whose idea was it to straighten her hair like she’s in the Mod Squad? That isn’t working a bit. And that dress isn’t great either. Her best vocal performance ever, why are they trying to sabotage her look? She is backed by six timpanis on a wall, which is very dramatic! Adam then instantly disagrees with me and says that she looks beautiful, but what else could he say? I mean, she is beautiful, but nobody helped her tonight, except the makeup artist, because that is excellent eyeshadows and her brows are on point  

Guess they are having trouble filling the time, since there is a performance by Blake and Gwen singing their Christmas song. It’s okay, not as good as the song he sang last week.

Chloe, Team Blake, “Call Me.” Apparently, she is still number one on iTunes since last week with “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” I am not in line with America on this one. They have surrounded her with a head-banging band and backup singers and dancers pogoing in the back and she’s in a red jumpsuit and her hair is feathered and her blue eyeshadow is winged, and I’m still not buying it. Go away, Chloe. You know who would have killed that song? Moriah. I miss Moriah. I’m still mad at Miley and her taco dress about that.

Keisha, Team Blake, “All By Myself,” which they are identifying as a Celine Dion song. I mean, yes, she sang it, but it’s an Eric Carmen song and frankly, Celine’s version isn’t so crazy different that it should be identified with her. They are putting a weensy bit of steel guitar in it to try to make people think it’s a country song, but country singer or no, she is absolutely not singing this as anything but R&B, which is a foolish idea, just ask Contestant Adam. Stay in your genre, especially if it’s country. I mean, it was very good, but I think it was a mistake. Coach Adam mentions that Keisha has had some hateful comments posted against her and this song told them what’s what. I hate people, sometimes. Okay, now I hope she goes through. I mean, it can’t be a surprise, a black woman trying to be a country singer would have to get a lot of nasty comments from the terrible people who live on Twitter, but still, it’s got to be hard to go through.

Ashland, Team Miley, “I Hate Myself For Loving You.” Have none of these country artists not learned from Contestant Adam? Joan Jett is not country! She’s singing it well, but she looks uncomfortable in that red miniskirt. She’s surrounded by an all-girl band and neon hearts, and I’m madly in love with the drummer.

Brooke, Team Miley, “Amazing Grace.” She’s starting a capella, then Miley suggests that she do it really modern, as if Coldplay was doing it, and it’s like I can see Brooke getting voted off with those words. It was pretty great, and everyone is fussing over it, but I don’t know, this sort of thing doesn’t always work.

Red, Team Blake, “That’s What I Love About Sunday,” which is a song that was actually written about the church his father was a preacher in, and he as a child is a character in the song, as a mean little freckle-faced kid who broke the window last week. So, Red isn’t straying from his genre this week! It will pay off for him, no question. This is a terrific song. Jennifer says, “I don’t know much about country, but Blake is teaching me!” I could actually hear Gwen’s lip curl backstage.

My Addison, Team Adam, “Lucky.” This is a Britney Spears song I don’t know, but she’s stripping it down and slowing it down. I wonder what it originally sounded like? Adam says she’ll hit #1. Hopefully she’ll knock Chloe off that perch.

Two eliminations tomorrow! I’d like it to be Chloe and Ashland, but it’s more likely to be Keisha and Ashland. 

The Voice S13/E23

The Voice S13/E21